How the Earth Began

By James

How the Earth began – my version

A big dinosaur was farting in space. He managed to fart SO much that it blew him to the sun. When he got to the sun, he took a big bite out of it.

He burnt his tongue off. The tongue floated around in space for two whole years. It travelled with the stars, around the sun. It orbited through massive galaxies.

It ended up stopping near the sun because there was a big gravitational pull. The tongue tried to get away, but it was being pulled away by another planet that wanted it as food. That planet was called Gloopier. The sun started to pump out lots of heat which made the gravitational pull stronger. The tongue eventually gave up and just stayed there.

There was still lots of bacteria on the tongue from when the dinosaur used to eat old rotting stegasauuses. After two years of orbiting, it changed colour into a weird mouldy green. It became moist, it grew into a slime that started to drip. The drops became solid and flat. They had a strange mushy gas smell. They turned into leaves. The leaves multiplied and then turned into vines.

The sun got a lot hotter all of a sudden. Apparently Jack (dinosaur’s old friend) was cruising around space and let out a massive fart from a heap of fish he’d been eating at ‘Starfish’ the funky new star in the north galaxy where heaps of creatures were visiting. The fart was so big that it made the sun fire up big time. Everything was suddenly so much hotter.

The vines coming out of the old tongue started going crazy and wrapping up the whole tongue into a big ball.

Sloopier (a neighbouring planet) was in big trouble. The inhabitants were running out of supplies. The planet was imploding. Microscopic bugs decided to leave like refugees and embark on an unknown journey through space.

They floated and ran into the big ball of vines. Exhausted, they rested there like it was a big bed. When they woke, they started eating the vines and growing bigger. Their poo mixed with the vines and eventually trees started to form. This was the beginning of earth as we know it.

The bark on the trees started looking very strange and over time long figures started to step out of them. These were the first humans. They were called barkiens. Barkiens were rough sort of characters. They ate bark and made sounds a bit like trees falling down.